cicadas mean summer

I don't blog much these days, not from a lack of desire but because the reading list I have seems to say it all much better than I can. My time is spent around the home I built for my family, because of a promise made to my wife long years ago. It truly is an oasis in the hot dry southwestern landscape in which I draw my breath. over grown and lush, my garden is healthy and producing, kadoda figs just coming on, (they are so sweet :) Most times I feel truly happy.I have paid the price dearly to feel this way, the apocalypse paid a visit to my family a little early compared to some. It was so hard to find any sort of balance for awhile, but pounding nails and cutting boards have kept my hands busy, while my mind has gone walkabout. The work to support my family has come around again, lifting us out of the poverty we have suffered with for so long, (thanks to the banker bastards and their continued assault on my human family). My trials have given me strength and courage enough to face the ones on the horizon. You can see them, right? You would think that the problems we face would grind us down over time, and they do in the short run, I myself cried every day for six weeks not too long ago, but the internal housecleaning that the circumstances caused have been integral in distilling and refining my soul, or purifying my will if you will, grin. Clarifying what side I am on, and having made that choice makes so many others so that I am unencumbered and free, to a degree.

I think that I am shown on a daily basis what to do and how to behave, sure I can fight the flow, but why? Who knows how much time we have left on this beautiful blue sphere, there are no guarantees. Only relationships, with God, family, and mother earth. Everything material is transitory, a comfortable place for our flesh suit to exist, but these things pass on to the next surely, way stations in the journey of eternity. Everything changes and when trouble and doubt arise I listen to the rhythm of my heart, that beats, "be still, be still" when things look dark, it helps, and focuses my awareness, because fear is the mind killer. Soon the tides of pain recede just as they have rolled in, changing and shaping the steel of our soul.

Well this hillbilly has said enough, more words than I have spoken in two days, kinda went off the deep end at the last, but I really mean it when I say "I love you, bless your heart."


do you know what I mean