I might be an atheist

I have thought long and hard about what I want to write in this post, the effect I would like it to have upon those who read it, and the effect the act of writing it will have upon me. I started this blog with those same desires some five years ago, the idea budding when I first went online and discovered the vast interplay available to anyone with access to the universe of ideas and images. I believed then that I would be able to find the answers to questions that have been troubling me from my youth, nagging at my soul as a dog worries a bone. I thought that with a search engine and a few keystrokes that all would be solved and peace restored to my inner workings, that an illumined individual would appear and give me the shortcut to happiness in this world and the next. I believed that the ability to access the knowledge of mankind and the ability to communicate with almost anyone on the planet would bring a sense of community with like minded individuals, a common ground that we could begin to change the world for the better. Pollyanna I know.

I have found instead a world of strife and hate, divisions where there should be none, I have found that the world I believed existed is but a slimy illusion design to sow discord among the children of God, to separate us from each other. Perversions and pain that I would have never imagined, depravity and lies from the beginning of recorded time.

I am a product of this world, I am full of lies, hate and discord, I mirror the world around me, could it be any other way? The hope for a better life has long since evaporated and been replaced with a casual cynicism that has led to despair.  The center has not held, there was never a center to begin with, only a control program designed to eke out the max suffering in the mass of humanity who have had the misfortune to walk upon this hellhole we call earth. We are told this earth life is a lesson to strengthen us, to teach us to chose to do the right thing. what a load of bullshit. We are told we need to find our way back to God and accept his will and be a part of his grand design, that he is all powerful and all loving and all that is comes from him.  Well if that is true what does the current state of affairs tell you about him.  Why are there so many religions and beliefs that pit us against one another? If God is all there is why is he so hard to find? We trudge through a life of pain in the hope that at the end we receive a carrot for our good works, what a bunch of donkeys, ya keep your shoulders to the wheel you dumb ass, Walmart needs to earn it's quarterly profit, the bankers need their xmas bonus, nothing to see here,(crack goes the whip) keep working slave.

peace sells